Grinds My Gears!! - Issue 1.5

Okay so this is a continuation of my the previous Issue, as I needed to retire to lub up my gears for this next one before any damage was done....


Celebrity Love Island & I'm a Celebrity Get Me Outta Here

I've decided that I would group these two together, not because they both suck ass from a straw, but because of one simple reason that is given away in their titles. Can you see it? A nine letter word, starts with 'C' and ends with 'y'....yes my friends that famous word - CELEBRITY.

This ain't a grinding on celebrities, as we all know that would take too long, even for me. This is about the fact that both shows depend on celebrities for their popularity and success (not that I recognise the success of these shows...in fact using the word 'success' is a contradiction in that context....nevermind). I guess the main problem would be that without celebs, the show would be too much like Big Brother, and God knows how the sane people of this nation do NOT want another one of those. In my opinion, a show doesn't need to have celebs to be famous. I'll take two example of reality tv where this is the case: Mythbusters and American Chopper.

Before you say it I am well aware that the people on the these two shows are celebrities now, but when their respective shows started they were only well known amongst their trade. The Teutals were a well established bike-building family long before they were approached by Discovery Channel and both Mythbusters (Adam and Jamie) were experts in the special effects industry. In the case of the Love Island and I'm a Celebrity, the show depends on already well established celebs (and I once again use the words lightly). Now the whole thing behind the two shows shadows Big Brother in many aspects, I don't need to go into them, the only exception being that in I'm a Celeb they lack the type of furnishings that the others enjoy. The same argument can be made as to why this merits as good tv, and it's a sign of the Irish tv industry when TV3 broadcasts BOTH shows. Like BB, people actually follow these things closely, the only comfort is that neither of these two are like BB in the sense that they clog the airwaves with their putrid 24-7 coverage, and there is slightly less gossip in the tabloids about so-and-so's boob job, or someone else had a sex change or whatever.

We all know RTÉ's failed attempt at reality tv in the form of 'Cabin Fever', again the same rubbish only this time we had ourselves to blame.

To put it briefly, and in case you haven't got the point yet: I depise reality tv with a vengence. I do like good reality tv, namely anything on Discovery Channel. I should think most of you would agree???

Super Sweet 16

I do apologise for the lack of a picture, but I was unable to get one. This one falls into a very unique category, "the MTV attempted good tv" one. There's no point in me going into the fact that MTV rarely shows music anymore, but we are all fully aware of the vast array of other tv programmes on offer to us, Sweet 16 being one branch of the rubbish tree.

I'm going to start with the bit that gives my gears the most grinding. The spoiled little bitches (or maybe brats is the appropriate word here as some of them act like children) that feature in it. To quote the Angry Video Game Nerd (James Rolfe): "It brings my piss to the boil!". I find there to be something very (very) wrong with these girls (alleged young women). Being spoiled comes top of the list, namely the fact that 'Daddy' buys their princesses a car or two for there birthday even though they don't have their licence yet. (The age is 16 for a licence in the States). If you just witnessed the clips of them buying the cars, they must have one that matched their shoes, or this one is too small or one such case that the car wasn't expensive enough!

The parties themselves are extravagant enough, I admit to taking extreme pleasure in the following cases in different parties: the cake was destroyed, a couple were having sex on the dance floor, a group of alleged losers crashed the party, the music stopped playing, the wrong act was hired and so on. Just to see the little bitches throw a tantrum was satisfaction defined, which got even better when their parents had a go at them for bitchin in the first place.

Another aspect which I find quite annoying is how they believe they are above everyone else, that they must throw the best party, that they deserve the best. These bitches have never worked for anything in their lives, and will live off Daddy forever. In one case, the girl was going to inherit a French estate, and idolizes Paris Hilton - honestly, that thing...the sex video queen. I don't particularly like the way the invites are distributed, in front of everyone, some not being invited (the nerds like me or whatever), only the popular kids are allowed. In some cases, people get invites who don't even know the girl. I do realise at this point that a few fellas have appeared on the show and all that, but I can't begin to tell you how sad that is.

Taking a different point of view, I'll take a moment to examine the females in question themselves. Now in most cases they are turning 16 years old, sometimes 18, depending on whether or not they had a sweet 16. Leaving aside the 18 year olds, there is something repetitive about the 16ers. Guys and Gurls who've watched the show no doubt know what I'm getting at. Are these girls actually 16?!?!?! I have my doubts. I'll leave it for you to decide, just watch the show.

So I think that's enough for today, expect a Special Issue of Grinds My Gears within the next two or three days, as recent events merit it.

Smoke me a kipper!

~Damien

I do apologise to anyone (particularly the female friends) if you are offended by my use of the word 'bitch' when describing the girls in Sweet 16, I just can't think of any better word. My apologies.