By Popular Demand....

I've been asked a lot about this recently, so I'm posting up the old quotes list from my MSN space. I'm also happy to email you the "Adventures of...." stories, I'm not going to post them up here!

Some of these might be from college:

Donal and Hazel
D: How's it goin sir? H: Jesus Donal, you must have lost a pound in weight! D: Thanks very much....*quick getaway*

DJT-Thermodynamics
I hear a lot of talking from the back; maybe if I stand here (moving closer to them) you'll feel mildly threatened.

James Sullivan-Chemistry
Now phosphorus on a match, you could eat it, it wouldn't taste nice, but arsenic, that would kill you!

Kelly
I don't mean to sound like a nerd or a geek but eh..."Il mort en fonctionnaire"...

Kelly
Of course during WW2 in England, people used to work 9 hours, they changed that to 10 hours a day...lesson: quality over quantity!

Kelly
Eh...they used to force feed birds in France...it was quite brutal actually...

McHugh
Who's your i-doll?

McHugh
You are a 'Ryan Tubridy', do you know what that means gentlemen......'You are a prick!'

McHugh
You're on the beach gentlemen, in the soft sand....the tide is coming in and you're stuck gentlemen...you know what that means...the Leaving Cert gentlemen!

Kelly
(Talking to Keith and Paul) Eh would you look at this...not even paying attention!!!!!!!

Eddie O'Brien
(During the mocks) Now look...you're not allowed leave early....but if you want...you can give me your paper and try to sneak out!

Flood
(He always refers to people as 'Master', so I would be "Master Kelly" for example) However, he didn't realise what he was sayin when there was a guy in the class whose name was 'Bates'....Master-Bates

McHugh
Zack....you blow hot and cold!

McHugh
Gregory...your parents or parent must dress you in the morning!

Flood
Behan...what are you and Brennan hanging around with that pack of retards for?

Piggy (to Robert Griffin whilst he's wearing a hoodie)
What are you doin', minding E.T.'s bicycle are you!

Flood
Yes... it's okay to have good crack so long as you take it in small doses!

Mc Carthy (anytime he doesn't know the answer)
Ahhh...I forget.....

A. Flynn
Mc Carthy, you are a gobshitsaurus-rex!

Mooney (to OB)
You're a king-sized pain in the bollocks!

Mooney (in relation to the word 'An Uaimh)
Look, it's either 'Navan' or a cave.....

Robinson
It's a pity for you Mr. Kennedy that slave labour wasn't re-introduced!

Moloney
Andre honey, we are not doing that question till after the mid-term....capiche!!!

Flood
Beautiful miscellaneous exercise.....

Moon
In relation to anal....Look lads, the anus was not made to receive a penis and that's that!

Moon (in relation to oral sex)
(Just after mentioning Blowjobs), by the way lads, as a technicality, you don't blow at all!

Moon (who is our R.E. teacher but is really our Sex.Ed Teacher)
(In relation to watching porn): Ok, scene 1 might be just a 1 on 1 situation. Then for scene 2 another guy might come in. And finally for act 3, the finale, a big gangbang!

Fleming
Alan Stalin

Fleming (being sarcastic)
Do you want some tea and crumpets?

Fleming (after someone failed to produce homework)
What were ye doin', were ye watchin' SABRINA were ye!

Mc Hugh (whilst pulling on a perspex rod)
You can see I'm very good at this gentlemen...

Fleming
Doyle! You're gettin a report for having no homework. Wait, I'll give you another report for pretending you had your work done.Where's your tie?.that's another report, where's your eraser?...thats another report! You know what Doyle....
I'm goin to give you 6 reports....just so I can get you suspended!

Fleming
(Just after I give an answer)....Hmmm...That's a very interesting hypothesis Damien...let's digest the question....

Fleming
I gotta tell you guys, I've worked with evil bastards in my life.....I mean really evil BASTARDS!

Manglore
Sorry, your name beside Robert is......(the fuckin' dumb bitch)

Hawk Eyed Hazel
Her name was 'Fanny Kemble'. (Class Laughs) I'm serious, her name was 'Fanny'

Mc Hugh
I have two hopes in this class...(looks at Gerry)...well, maybe two and a half...

Moloney
Andre honey, I don't want to see your lips flappin'!

Russell
Don't call me Sir!

Robinson
David Kennedy where's your homework? (Daithi looks down) OUT! OUT! OUT!

Mc Hugh
Murphy....you and Mc Carthy are like flies attracted to cow's shit!

Mc Hugh (On Foy's 18th Birthday)
What age is he.....SIX!

Mc Hugh
You make the balls Behan, and Zack throws them....

Fleming
Joseph...you've got points 'X' and 'Y' and you moved out a distance 'W' to position 'Z', therefore you're incorrect by 'A Factor of K'!!!!

A Flynn (to Flood)
It appears we have an element of the 'gobshite factor' in this class Mr. Flood.

A Flynn
Mr Mc Gann, if it was raining soup, you'd be the one handing out the forks!

Fleming
JEEEESSSUSSSS CHRRRIIIISSSTTT!

Kelly (Trying to be funny)
Eh..this french inspector went into a class and he said: 'C'est la vie', and the whole class said: 'La Vie'

Piggy
You want to do higher level Irish do you? Well you've a queer way of showin' it.

Piggy
This isn't a socialising club...this is Study!

Carey
James...you're goin' to the tower!...Fine have it your way James...I'm writing a letter to your 'year-head'!

Hastings
Look at you there Mr. Fox.....vegetating like a cabbage!

Flood
What's the probability of gettin' head? (Class laughs) What's so funny, it's one minus the probability of not gettin' head at all!

Kelly
Of course the T.G.V. is the fastest train in the world. (Then I said) Sir, are Japanese bullet trains not faster? (Back to Kelly) Eh, NO!, The T.G.V. is the fastest!

Robinson
David Kennedy, whats your image of God? A man in a cloud. Do you know what...that's really SAD!

Piggy
You want it rough, I'll give it to ye rough!

Piggy
What happened to Ms. Robinson lads...was she captured by the Iraqi's?

Dont miss the "Moments of Drimnagh Castle" above!

~The Damo